There Is No Right Way
In the early days of our being, we were taught that there were questions and answers and that these answers were either correct or incorrect, right or wrong. Further, if we arrived at the answer in the way the big person who had asked the question approved of, we had done it the right way.
Gold star! ⭐️
Stars, smiles and approval became intertwined. Stars morphed into money, smiles to belonging and approval to relationships. All the physical and emotional rewards of life were there for us if we could just figure out ‘the right way’.
Although more challenging when we entered regular employment, the game was still the same- figure out the right answer in the right way. But the more we progressed, evolved and became aware of the complexities of life, the harder it got. Who should we be pleasing?
Even if it was our own judgments we acted on, the 'shoulds' and 'ought tos', delving deeper, we found these were just others' opinions that we had made our own.
Our religious or spiritual beliefs also came with some 'right ways'. Ways we needed to behave to please God/the universe/ a higher power, things we needed to think and feel in order to be attractive and social norms to fit into our spiritual community.
The more creativity we bring into our life, the more we realise there is no right way. The different ways have different benefits and are judged right or wrong by different people based on individual experiences and beliefs.
With the questions of Self Employment, there are a number of ‘rightish’ answers all arrived at by different methods and it’s not always clear who we need to please.
Following our own path means coming up with our own solutions, that suit us, our skills and our passions. What is right for us might be completely wrong to someone else even if they are in exactly the same situation.
When we choose pleasing others over our own wisdom, we have got lost trying to apply an outdated strategy to a current situation. What might have worked for us when we believed it was essential to our survival, isn’t a good approach to building the life we desire and expressing our uniqueness in the world.
I might have said that these situations feel right to us but it’s likely that they won’t feel right. If we are in the habit of pleasing others, doing it differently will feel strange at first and we might have all sorts of thinking about the consequences of such ‘selfishness’.
Even with this insight, we may not always 'get it right'. We believe we are choosing the right way but we later see we have misinterpreted the situation, got seduced and mislead ourselves.
However, when we get the perspective of time we can often see something we judged as ‘the wrong way’ actually turned out ‘right’. One thing led to another in a way that we could not have possibly predicted. Perhaps life is like a satnav that automatically comes up with an alternative route? Perhaps our wisdom was taking care of us after all.