Keep Going.  Don't Give Up!

Keep Going. Don't Give Up!

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So you’ve got started, you’ve launched, you’ve taken the first steps, you’re finally doing it!  Congratulations!  But no sooner than you’ve finished patting yourself on the back, your new habit, project or venture comes to a grinding halt.  

Here are some suggestions for what to do next……

So you’ve got started, you’ve launched, you’ve taken the first steps, you’re finally doing it!  Congratulations!  But no sooner than you’ve finished patting yourself on the back, your new habit, project or venture comes to a grinding halt.  

Here are some suggestions for what to do next……

Ideally you will have had thorough plans for Getting Started that mean you are fully committed (see previous blog articles) and you are progressing in ways that are in keeping with who you are and what’s important to you. 

In coaching sessions I often talk about ‘the committee’.  A little like the cast of the film Inside Out, these characters hang out in your mind making judgments and highlighting danger with the aim of keeping you safely in your comfort zone.  Great preparation includes a plan for dealing with ‘the committee’ so they aren’t waiting to trip you up every time you take a step forward.

If, after a while, you are no longer moving forward, it is likely the committee have adopted a different strategy which has convinced you to delay or postpone your next action.  It’s easy to tell you to ignore them but that tends to make them shout louder and all the time they are chattering, it is very hard to get anything done.

So instead, take some time out to really listen to them.  What’s their key message?  What’s their intention for you?  Investigate and take the chance to review and refine your plans.  Has your routine become boring?  Can you bring more creativity to your actions?  Is there another angle of your plan to consider?  Can you make it more ‘you’?

Having listened, reviewed your actions and made any changes necessary.  It’s time to recommit to your plan.  During this process, you will have gained an answer for any of the committee members who want to disrupt you so, if the same objections come up, you’ll be ready!

Another reason why you may have stalled is that the next action you need to take is a big one.  Big in terms of the investment in time/money/resources and/or big in importance.  Bigger actions can mean we have more resistance.  Rather than considering the whole action, it is time to break it down into stages, sections or phases.  What is the first small action that’s needed?  Can you do just that?  Talk yourself through it one step at a time.  Experiment with the best way of managing you.  I prefer kind but firm- too harsh and you build up more resistance and too soft and nothing will happen.

Another useful thing to do in your preparation phase is set up some accountability.  This can be with a group, a friend or your coach.  You agree to update each other on your progress, acknowledge successes and not to let each other off the hook when actions are not completed. 

You might have some celebrations planned for when you meet key mile stones and some forfeits for missed deadlines.  You can agree up front how you would like to be treated if you miss a deadline and this may involve giving permission for more assertive or parental behaviour than would usually be tolerated in a friendship. 

This relationship really comes into its own after the initial burst of enthusiasm dies down but the early stages can act as ‘practice time’ where you establish how you will work together and make sure you will have enough ‘tough love’ to make the accountability work.

There is an opportunity to gain further support with these actions and other helpful coaching practices on the 6 week Get Started Coaching Programme.  The next one is starting in January 2016

I’d love to hear how you get on with trying out these suggestions for keeping going, please leave a comment in the box below….

 

 

Selfish, Self Centred or Selfless?

Selfish, Self Centred or Selfless?

Break through. Get started. Here’s how….

Break through. Get started. Here’s how….