I'm all for the February make-over...
UK winter means our skies are often grey and, apart from it being a short month, February has had little going for it. That is until recently, when Valentine's Day seems to have spilled over to flavour the whole month with love.
When I was single, Valentine's Day would be a good barometer of how I felt about love and relationships. I went through the whole emotional spectrum from loneliness and envy, (what's wrong with me?) to acceptance, gratitude and joy (the world's a lovely place!). Sometimes I visited all of these in one day but generally there was a shift over time. I celebrated with friends and with myself. And felt my heart open as I experienced all the closeness and kindness that surrounded me.
Being in a relationship, Valentine's has more focused meaning. This is the time when we want to experience love at its best. It can be a prompt to check in and get honest with ourselves. Is this love real and true? Do we have chemistry and deep connection? These are the foundations we need to build the relationship we desire.
And we might want to review how we're getting on with creating that relationship. Trying to measure our partner's love in the size of their gift, setting up tests, along the lines of making a shirt with no needle work in the well known folk song, or any kind of 'if they really loved me they would.....' is only likely to highlight our insecurities. Instead, together we can ask 'What's great about us and what areas need more of our attention?'
Like all things in nature, our relationship is either growing and evolving or stagnating and decaying. To grow it needs attention, nurturing and appreciating. Gratitude and celebration. If it feels stuck to you, there is some fear that you need to face. Yes, that does mean you! Blaming our partner is so very convenient and easily justified to all who will listen, but it only helps to keep us stuck. Your feelings, your responsibility, your attention needed.
So whilst the rituals and celebrations of Valentine's may be different depending on our relationship status, the lessons are the same, we only get to experience all the love around us when we open our hearts to it.
I trust you're having a Fabulous February full of love. I'd love to hear your views by leaving a comment below.....
P.S. If you'd like my help moving forward in any area of your life, you can book in some time to talk through the options at....