The Curse of Expectations

The Curse of Expectations

An overseas client was telling me how he had planned a holiday where he would take his sport to the next level with private tuition, but, when the time came, weather prevented the programme and he was disappointed.  His unfulfilled expectations spoiled his enjoyment of the alternative activities arranged by his tutor rallied around trying to resolve the situation.  In the UK I think we might expect less of the weather!  

I'm working with a few people who have already tried to go Self-Employed but have not yet been successful.  They had such high hopes for creating the lifestyle of their dreams and it can be challenging to revisit those feelings.  One talked about 'closing the door' on her dream as it was all so stressful. 

I am coming up to my 50th Birthday.  I had imagined where I would be in my life by now and my mind gets busy judging which expectations I've met and which I haven't.  This keeps me from appreciating what I do have in each moment.

When we are going on a new adventure, such as launching into self-employment, it's very useful to think through our plans and use our imagination to 'rehearse' future situations and be as sure as we can that we are fully prepared.  Wishful thinking isn't enough.  We need a mixture of yin and yang- vision boards and spreadsheets. 

Of course we will need to review those from time to time and amend our plans as we learn more and our environment changes.  But once made we need to take a step back from those plans and deal with the priorities and opportunities of each day.  We fall into a trap when we think that our plans give us control.  We are never in control.  In life there are no guarantees!

Our job is to take care of what we can take care of.  To get involved fully in the present moment.  Our expectations do not help with this.  And if we give them our focus our time and attention, they us clog up with feelings and stories so we are less available for the present moment.  That's the curse.

We don't want to stop planning or day dreaming about the future, we just don't want to hold on to these versions of the future so tightly that we've allowed not room for things to happen in their own time in their own way.  This is how we allow space for the miracles of life to keep unfolding

What Do You See?

What Do You See?

A New Hairdo

A New Hairdo