Are You a Distruptor?
I don’t think any of us set out to play safe. Perhaps something happens to scare us or we are taught that building security is the way to a good life?
Sooner or later we build up just enough of what we think makes us happy and then life becomes about protecting that. We get comfortable with what we know.
However, deep-down we know this conforming, toned-down version of ourselves is not who we really are. Perhaps we wake up to that one day, perhaps helped by a disruptor.
A disruptor is someone who comes along and shakes things up, rocks the boat. Things we thought were the absolute truth are now questioned. We are inspired, there are new possibilities but also less certainty.
Did you meet a distruptor on your path to Self Employment?
When announcing your plans for Self Employment to your family and friends, if they are used to a regular income and concerned about security, it is likely you are a distruptor for them.
You breaking free and doing your own thing has disrupted the status quo. The jobs that others are doing ‘because they have no alternative’ come under scrutiny. The fears others have about following their dreams are stirred. The more adventurous, expressive selves others have buried, threaten further disruptions.
With all the attempts to get you to conform and others projecting their fears onto you, tensions can run high. Others’ fears may stir up your doubts and fears and you wonder if you will be able to do this without the support of those you care about.
There might also be practical considerations. Others might be relying on your income and you might want to negotiate some flexibility. You might want to re- evaluate how you use your time and the contribution you make to your household.
As with any misunderstanding, the answer is communication. Step away from the judgements and fear and preferably have this conversation when you are feeling good (although don’t use that as a reason to delay!). Look for the common ground and start from there. If this person is important to you, let them know your feelings. Listen to their concerns, see how you can reassure them, give them time to adjust but ask for what you want and be assertive, this is your time!
Here’s a letter I shared on social media to begin the conversation....
Disruption can seem negative because of our reactions to uncertainty, our desire to hold on to the known, but it is an essential process for change. We find it in nature and us coaches value it highly. Perhaps you will develop a taste for it as your Self Employment takes shape?
Looking forward to hearing your experiences...