Be Your Own Best Boss

What kind of boss are you?  Do you get things done?  Are you firm but fair?  Direct?  Kind? Assertive?  Generous?

The chances are, if your job involves management, you’ve been on courses and read relevant books.  You might have asked for feedback and had appraisals.  Even if you’re a leader in your personal life, the chances are you’ve given your role some thought.

As being a boss usually involves all the complexities of managing others, being the boss of ourselves should be a doddle, shouldn’t it?

So what kind of boss are you to yourself.  I don’t just mean when you’ve a work task to do or when someone’s looking.  Do you use a similar leadership style with yourself as you do with others?

When we come to doing our life’s work, bringing our passions into the world and crafting our dreams into reality, we often find we meet resistance.  How we lead ourselves through can make all the difference to us living the life we desire.

For example, a common pattern I often see in clients is to push ourselves really hard to achieve very high standards and then when the standards prove unattainable or we run out of energy, to indulge ourselves with distraction.  The distraction is never totally relaxing as we have the task in hand gnawing on our minds and eventually our boss steps up and reprimands us for our laziness and we start the cycle again.   If a friend told you they had a boss like this, you would probably tell them their boss was crazy and they should look for another job!

You can uncover your patterns by looking at things you have achieved and areas where you haven’t yet made progress.  Consider if the way you are treating yourself is the way you would treat others.  You are best placed to know the leadership style you need, what motivates you and what gives you the momentum to achieve your desires.  Invest in becoming your best boss and your life’s work will be even more exciting and fun.

Deborah Reeds

My next coaching group, Creating Momentum will start on shortly and I will be contributing to the Finding Your True Voice retreat in Tenerife in August (  This article will appear in Wellbeing Magazine.



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